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-Blog-
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To those that read this, or pay any attention to me. Anyone who's ever called me a friend, or bitterly hates me right now.

I have no excuse for the actions I have had since this January, and you have all rights to hate me as you do, if you do. But this is my apology, to everything, for the scum I have been to those around me, and to those I have hurt. I've made mistakes, and spent the past few months letting the rot me from the inside out over all the pain I've caused. I never really slept, or ate, just let things tear me apart, until the point I broke down and cried constantly.

Part of me died.

I took everything I had, and destroyed it, and spent since January rotting in this pile of my own sorrow trying to count the bricks on the ground where I went wrong. Because this was ALL of my fault, every broken heart, was MY fault, and when asked by people why I'm always blaming myself, or being so hard on myself these past few months, its the pain I caused, and anger towards me, made me realize I HAD to place this burden on me, HOW COULD I BE HAPPY, with someone I love hurting.

So this is me, exposing myself to everyone.

I'm sorry for the things I have done, and I am trying my best to change, to become who I was, when I was happy. Time spent these few months made me realize what is important to me, and who is important to me.

Some of you will look at this, and probably pass it by like I'm just trying to get some self pity, and half assed attempt to apologize. Oh god no, I know what I did was wrong, and I'm going to spend the rest of my life fixing the wrongs I have done, even if it was only a short time period, I fucked up beyond words can describe.

But this is for me, and for anyone willing to see I'm not that person.

And to Brittany, thank you for everything you've done. You truly make this entire life of mine, that I don't deserve, better. I'm sorry I wasn't better for you then, and I had to hurt you so much, and hurt myself so much, to find out what was wrong. And now that I've learned from that, I'm going to show you that I can do better.

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Youmacon
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I'm still going to Youmacon this year, I'm planning to rent the room soon. If ANYONE would like to crash in my room, I'm taking people in with me. Nathaniel, Ash, you guys are welcome into my room. But I call dibs on the bed, anyone coming must bring their own stuff to sleep on. And donate to the "Help an Asian Cash Fund" xD






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